Emotional Creatures

This past weekend I was fortunate enough to get the opportunity to take 10 of the girls in my club as well as 2 teachers to attend a workshop in Johannesburg put on by Eve Ensler (author of the Vagina Monologues). Having heard from another PCV that Eve was going to be in South Africa, I e-mailed her organization as a total longshot to see if she would have any interest to come and speak at my Camp GLOW (which, by the way, is next week! More to come). Obviously, Eve came to SA with other intentions so a lovely woman responded that Eve would not be able to come, but would I be interested in bringing 10 girls to her workshop exploring her newest book, I am an Emotional Creature: The Secret life of Girls Around the World? Heck yes I would! They were able to provide us funding for the transportation, and off we went to Joburg in my host brother’s taxi bright and early Sunday morning. This picture is of Eve interviewing the girls: what do you like about being a girl, what would you do if you could do anything?

The workshop was about half a day, and I really think that the girls enjoyed it. Eve lead the girls in several exercises that encouraged them to open up and start to think of how they could express themselves creatively. There was a lot of running around, a lot of yelling, and a lot of laughter. Being the only group from a rural village, I was nervous about my girls’ willingness to participate with the others (most of the 200 or so girls seemed to be from wealthy suburbs of Joburg), but they proved me wrong. They jumped right in, meeting the other girls, joining their groups, and sitting with them for the remainder of the day. One of my girls (pictured below) even got up to talk in front of the whole group about how inspiring she was finding the activities. If nothing else, it was a great chance for my girls to travel outside of the village and see what other parts of South Africa look like, and what kind of other people are living there too.

After the initial exercises, Eve talked about her career and how it lead her to establishing her organization, V-day. She mentioned her inspiration for the Vagina Monologues which came from a realization that without being able to talk about our bodies, we would never be able to ask the proper questions and get the proper information that would ensure we made healthy decisions and treated ourselves with respect. Though this was decades ago in America, I am noticing the same problems here. As I’ve mentioned before, it is considered disrespectful to talk to your parents about anything have to do with sex. Most of the African languages don’t eve have vocabulary for the reproductive parts; instead they refer to the penis as a stick and the vagina as cake. As a result of this, girls (and boys) are left without any idea of what is happening to their bodies or any real understanding of the consequences of sexual decisions. Sex talks are briefly brushed over in Life Orientation classes at school, so any information you learn is subject to how seriously your teacher wants to take the issues. Because of this, I thought it was really great that these girls could hear her story, and I’m sure even they were shocked the first few times she said the word vagina. After years of performing the Vagina Monologues and subsequently hearing the life stories of scores of women around the world, Eve decided to start an organization called V-day (V stands for Victory, Vagina, and Valentine) that would seek to end violence against girls and women around the world. V-day conducts awareness campaigns, stages events on Valentines Day every year, and raises money to fund local organizations that are working on behalf of girls and women in several countries. V-day has a branch that is dedicated just for girls, which they call V-girls. This is a special place where girls around the world can connect, blog, and help each other to create awareness or action events for people in their communities and farther. Unfortunately none of my girls have access to the internet, but I encouraged them that they would be welcome to use my computer if they wanted to keep in touch with girls they had met that day. What I really admire about Eve, besides the fact that she is an innovator and willing to push the status quo, is that I feel like her career embodies what we are called to do: combining and using our talents and passions to leave the world a better place. She takes her gift of writing and art and is using it to speak to girls and women around the world, helping them to understand and love themselves, and speak/act out against injustices that they are facing. Meeting and hearing from her was truly inspirational.

The second half of the workshop was focused on Eve’s new book, I am an Emotional Creature. This book is a call for girls around the world to love themselves as they are, and to be okay with expressing themselves in whatever way they need: i.e., it’s okay to be emotional. From issues of not being able to afford the latest trends, to eating disorders, to nervous sexual encounters, to atrocities of child labor and rape, the book speaks to everyone. It is a compilation of poems and monologues written from the perspective of teenage girls in several different countries. The book displays the struggles of these girls, and woven into the monologues is the inherent strength, power, and desire to beat the odds that we as girls and women possess. The book ends with a call from Eve, not to be afraid to love yourself for exactly who you are, and not to accept anything less than what will make you truly content and fulfilled. Eve and several of the girls who are performing in the play adapted from this book did readings of the monologues for the girls at the workshop. One was about a young girl who was nervous to ask her boyfriend to wear a condom the first time they have sex, only to find out that he was nervous as well. The second was much more intense, a monologue that outlined the advice of a young girl who was a survivor of sex slavery. I saw that both of the monologues had a profound impact on my girls, as I know that those are both issues that several of them have dealt with.

The workshop concluded, much like the book, with a motivation from Eve to stand up for their rights, and to take ownership over their bodies, present situations, and futures. I believe that the girls took a lot away from the workshop, feeling just a little more empowered to know that they are equal to all of those around them, and that they have the ability to choose their futures. Afterward we were all given copies of the book, which I hope to work through with the girls and maybe this fall actually put on a production of the play at the high school with the help of the 2 teachers that I brought as well. As we were leaving, my host brother drove up to pick us up, blaring, as usual, house (techno) music loud enough for the whole city to hear. Our group started having a small dance party outside the taxi, and we were joined by Eve (picture above)! The girls really loved meeting her and spending the day doing crazy activities to express themselves, and I am so happy that I got the opportunity to bring them there. (Picture to the right, our group with Eve!)

Family

Without a doubt, one of the most salient highlights of my service has been my relationship with my host family. They have been such a blast to learn from, converse with, and spend long days doing nothing alongside.
The first day that I arrived at their home, it was my second week being in Peace Corps and I was scared out of my mind. How often do you just show up at the front door of a family that you know nothing about, can barely communicate with, and expect everything to be chill? From the first day, they have welcomed me into their family, giving me my African name of Sbongile Thubana (Thubana is their surname), showing me how to wash clothes with my hands, pick the ripe mangoes off of the tree in the yard, killing the spiders for me when I'm scared, and sharing soda or snacks when they have extra.

I have been so blessed to have them be a part of my experience here, and I know that one of the hardest things about finishing my service will be leaving them. The members of the family that live at home with me are the Gogo and Mkhulu (Grandma and Grandpa), 3 siblings who are around my age- May, Guphi, and Bena, and 3 small children- Collen who is 5, Mxolisi (the subject of many of my posts) who is 2, and Lisadie who just celebrated her first birthday (picture below). My family is fun, generous, sympathetic, outrageous, and wonderful. I will never forget waking up to the babies pounding on my door, barging into my room and subsequently destroying everything in their path, laughing with Gogo at something inexplicably ridiculous that I'm doing- like tanning in the yard or burning candles during the day-dance parties outside of May's taxi when he arrives home from work blasting his music loud enough for the whole village to hear, eating their food and pretending to like it, then watching them do the exact same thing to me when I cook for them; but most of all, those subtle realizations that I am really part of the family like when my sister decides she isn't going to help me do my laundry anymore, I am asked to help set up and clean up after the birthday parties (instead of being the guest of honor), or Gogo tells me that I no longer have to pay her for my monthly use of electricity.

They've seen me laugh, cry, celebrate successes, and be frustrated over failures; helped me with projects, hung out with me when I was lonely, and left me alone when I didn't want to talk to anyone. I could not have asked for a better family to teach me the culture of ubuntu (a concept of common humanity) characteristic of much of South Africa.

Pantene Beautiful Lengths

So, after years of being involved with UCLA’s Relay for Life and having the job of convincing hundreds of people to cut 10 inches off of their hair to donate to those suffering from cancer and in need of a wig, last night I finally took the plunge and did it myself. Since I was in high school I have wanted to do this, but was apparently too vain or too attached to my luscious locks to actually do it. So I’ve been growing my hair over the past year and last night a good friend of mine cut 10 inches off of my hair so that I could donate it to the Pantene Beautiful Lengths campaign that works with the American Cancer Society to create wigs and gives them for free to those in need. I’m happy that I was finally able to let go of my attachment to my hair and do something with it that could potentially bring much joy or comfort to someone else. So in honor of Father’s Day, I do this in honor of my Grandpa Jack who lost the battle to cancer a few years ago.

If you’ve already skipped below to the pictures, you’ve probably realized that my hair isn’t even that short and therefore I should stop making such a big deal. And I probably should, but for the girl who hasn’t had her hair above her shoulders since elementary school, the short is definitely taking some getting used to.

Kumakhaza (IT IS COLD!)

As you may have gathered from my previous complaint ridden posts, South Africa really only has two temperatures: ‘boiling’ and ‘I can’t feel my toes’. No, these temperatures are not equal to or more extreme than many states in the US or countries around the world, but they are exacerbated by my lack of ability to mitigate the conditions: i.e. air conditioning or central heating. My hut has a thatch roof which is wonderful in the summer because it keeps the majority of the heat out (most people live with tin roofs which effectively turns the house into a convection oven for the majority of the summer), but the massive gaps between the door/windows and the walls allow the brutal air to creep through during winter. I imagine that what I feel after the sun goes down in May/June/July is comparable to that of the long days and nights that Rose and Jack spent waiting for a rescue boat. Temperatures reach below freezing in my area, and only this year did I really take the necessary measures to keep myself feeling as though I was not actually completely submerged in an icy ocean in the middle of the night. Yes, I am being dramatic. Recently I bought a heater, which is pointed directly at my face and approximately 1 foot from it. Last week, I bought an electric blanket which has changed my life and made getting up for work especially difficult. My typical night outfit consists of: long underwear top and bottoms, sweat pants, sweatshirt, two pairs of socks, ugg moccasins, and if things are really getting crazy I will also wear a hat and gloves. Sometimes I turn my oven on and just sit in front of it if the heater isn’t doing it for me. Ironically enough, I actually love the winter here, and have been experimenting with different soups and delicious teas. And as much as I’m complaining now, I absolutely do not want summer to come one day earlier than it absolutely has to. So as you sit on the beach drinking your frappacinno this summer, please make sure to send me some warm vibes and maybe some mental hot chocolate.

And now for something, completely different

You must by now actually be wondering what I have been doing IN the village, you know...what your tax dollars are actually contributing to apart from my fabulous vacations. Well you are in luck, because things are as busy as ever.

Before reading this post, I would like you to learn the Zulu term, Sizobona. It means, we will see. I could try counting the number of times in a day I say that, but I think I would lose count and you wouldn’t really care to know anyway. My point is, some things that I’m doing are really wonderful. Some are supposed to be wonderful, but they never end up happening. Some were never planned, but end up being wonderful. Some are just flat out the worst. If I’ve learned one thing over the past year as a PCV, it’s that things will never go exactly the way I want them to. So instead of freaking out and crying when my co-workers aren’t at work by 9:01 a.m., I’ve adjusted to a much more laissez-faire attitude, and I take each day and experience for what it is. And what it becomes, sizobona.

Things you already know about:

The Gogo group: The support group is going strong, and each meeting brings new participants and more questions and discussion than the last. This week we had a record high of 30 attendees, and a record high of 3 questions being asked on health topics unrelated to what we were discussing. In case this seems small, you should know that this is HUGE. Many people are very reluctant to talk about personal issues in public, and the idea of a support group is foreign to them. In fact, the first few meetings consisted of me talking about my problems and women sighing or groaning in relation to my pain, but not offering anything up of their own. Finally I wised up and realized that this would have to come, and we devised a routine that makes them more comfortable, in which we “lecture” on an aspect of health education for about 30 minutes and then ask some discussion questions. Afterwards, we quiz them to make sure that they understood or were listening. To hear them ask questions about other things they are struggling with or unclear on, is wonderful and I definitely consider it a breakthrough. My day is instantly turned around when a Gogo from the group spots me from across the road and proceeds to scream out a song or dance that we did in one of our meetings. AND, I brought the beaded AIDS ribbons that they had made to the Health Symposium and thanks to the generosity of other volunteers and PC staff, made over $100 for the Gogos to take home as personal and independent income. Yebo Gogo!

Girls Club: Also going strong. Due to graduations and some of the girls realizing after 7 months of meetings that I’m not actually as cool as they think I am, we added about 10 new members. It has been a lot of fun getting to know new girls and they add a great dynamic to the group. We have 30 yoga mats and we have impromptu classes other than the scheduled Wednesday for whenever girls decide they want to do it (best news ever: i found out that some of the girls got together and did it themselves while i was away on vacation. Yahoo!). What I love the most, however, is their willingness to finally open up to me and talk to me about serious issues that are affecting them at home and at school; issues that they may not have anyone else to talk to about it.

Things you may not know about:

Computer classes: Late last year I found out that the Jr. High that I am helping to build a library, was also stocked with 10 computers that had just been sitting at someone’s home for the past year because none of the teachers know how to use them. I finally forced the principal to bring them in, emphasizing the fact that I won’t be here next year (omg) to help teach and train. I honestly thought it was never going to happen until one day I show up at the school and all of the computers are inside and set up and oh I’m supposed to be ready to teach tomorrow. Who would have thought. After discussing that tomorrow probably isn’t best but I can be ready by next month, we agreed, fixed all of the virus racked computers, created a time table of when and how the classes will be conducted, and spread the word to the kids about what a treat they were in for. Well, Monday is that day. I’m excited to start, but am also pretty nervous due to my aforementioned rational fear of adolescent boys, combined with the fact that I know I’m not a great teacher. But regardless, Monday is approaching and I no longer have any excuses to put it off. Sizobona!

Pen Pal Exchange: My friend Eric has been doing Teach for America in LA for the past two years. We decided that s neat project could be for our students to participate in a letter writing pen-pal exchange. I remember having a pen-pal in third grade, I think she was from Japan and that’s all I remember but I do know that I really liked it. So last week the 6^th grade English class that I sometimes work with wrote letters to each of his 5^th grade class. The kids loved it, and though there will definitely be some cultural confusions and literacy issues (one kid wrote that his “fafored color is red”), I’m really excited to see what Eric’s class responses are. Some letters were pretty lame (the cool kids in the back don’t need pen-pals, they have mp3 players with Rihanna’s new song to listen to instead) but some kids got really into it and described their experiences as South Africans and how interested they were in meeting kids from America. I’m hoping we can set up some kind of Skype session once more contact has been established.

Camp Glow: This will be my major project for the next two months. Another PCV and I are planning on holding a 5 day leadership camp in July for the girls in our Girls Clubs. At her site in Limpopo, she is working with a similar group of girls to build knowledge of basic life-skills and help the girls in realizing their goals and dreams while achieving empowerment. I have really high hopes for the camp, (GLOW stands for Girls Leading Our World), and we have some great ideas on how to make this a unique and memorable experience for the girls. Many PCVs around the world conduct camps like this and I’ve seen them to be a highlight of service for those whom I know.

I promise it won’t be another two months before you receive 20 updates from me again. Until then, e-mail me and tell me what the heck is up with you!

Lots of love.

Victoria Falls

I think that the understatement of the year would be to tell you that South Africa loves Easter. I love Easter too, but they looooooove Easter. So much, that we get practically 3 days of extra holidays, and the entire country shuts down. Thursday, let’s call it Good Friday eve, becomes a half day, meaning organizations and schools either close or work until about 10 a.m. (after opening at 9:30 a.m.), and then decide to close. Nothing can or will be done until next week Tuesday. Good Friday is a holiday, then the Monday after Easter is “family day” (no I don’t know what that means). The timing of Easter this year was extremely convenient (thanks sun or orbit of the moon or whatever it is that dictates the date of Easter) and happened to collide with an array of other holidays such as: well I don’t actually no what they are but NO WORK! Most organizations and schools were closed from Thursday April 21 (Good Friday eve) until Tuesday, May 2nd. Even though I had just been gone for almost two weeks due to MST and the Health Symposium (see below posts), everybody else leaves the village for Easter and I always do what everybody else does, so..vacation!!
Three friends and I decided to fly to Zambia to see one of the 7 natural wonders of the world (yes I googled it to make sure my bragging is justified), Victoria Falls. The falls are absolutely enormous and beautiful, and at this time of year are so mighty and full of water that at many angles you can only see the mist from the falls. After entering the park, there are 3 different trails that you can take, one leads pretty much under the waterfalls (I’ve heard you can do this in Niagra falls, but I’ve never been so don’t take my word for it) and you get absolutely soaked to the bone. It is pretty awesome, and..free shower. Another leads you on a walk along the outside, where you can see the falls from several different angles, and much farther away so you can get a better idea of how big and expansive they are. Our favorite was the hike down to what is called the “Boiling Point” where the water creates whirlpools and you can see the path of the water through a beautiful gorge after it falls off of the cliffs. Unfortunately the water was too high at this time of year to do white water rafting (but, been there done that) or what is called the Devils Pool. My sources say that Devil’s Pool is literally a group of pools on the top/edge of the falls, that are surrounded by rocks and you can swim or hang out with them. Meaning you are mere feet from going over the edge of the falls. Awesome! Sadly we were prohibited from being so extreme so we had to settle on watching the bunjee jumpers off of the bridge that connects Zambia and Zimbabwe. For the record, cynics, I would have jumped but it cost $150.
Other highlights included safaris and game drives (baby elephants are the CUTEST), a sunset cruise along the Zambezi river, and my personal favourite...pretending to be rich. In true PC fashion, we only make enough money to stay at backpackers (hostels), in some of which you may or may not encounter bed bugs or really drunk fat guys sleeping in the bed above you. I like backpackers, but you never know what you’re going to get. Which is why you must learn to hotel crash! Hotel crashing is the best. All you do is put on your nicest outfit, take a taxi to the nicest 5 star resort along the Zambezi river, and walk in like you own the place. If someone gives you a questioning look, you take out your cell phone and pretend to call your mom and tell her that you’ve arrived at their hotel. Then you walk over to the pool and lay out for the next 6 hours. Now it’s not absurd for people who don’t stay at hotels to go and have a meal or drink, and I’m not without a moral compass, which is why I believe in order to ethically hotel crash you must order food and/or drinks by the pool. That way you are contributing to their economy and if you get caught then you can say, “Oh I’m sorry I didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed to drink this cocktail in my bathing suit while inside of the pool. That’s for residents only?”
Other No-No’s while hotel crashing:
• do not talk about living in your village so loud that the evil lady next to you realizes that you are not actually staying here and tells your friend that the chair next to her is occupied, when you know full well that it is not.
• when the waiter asks if you are staying at the hotel, do not say no. say instead, oh we’re staying at the sister hotel next door. or the before mentioned, my parents are staying here.
• do not under any circumstances, freak out when you realize that the Margarita you just drank cost you $16. if you could really afford to stay there, cost wouldn’t matter.
All in all, Victoria Falls was great. We are still trying to figure out the best time of the year to go. Friends have gone when the water was too low that you can barely even see anything coming over the falls. We went when it was so high you can’t defeat death by swimming in a pool of rocks at the edge of a cliff. You must choose your own fate.

MST and the Health Symposium

As of March 26, 2011, I was officially a PCV for one year (the first two months of training don’t technically count as service). To commemorate this incredible achievement (if I do say so myself) and reflect upon our positive and negative experiences over the past year, we had a 2 day conference called Mid Service Training (MST) with all of the people in my group (some of whom I hadn’t seen for 8 months). We were lead through some exercises to aid us in reflecting over our accomplishments, failures, joys, and struggles as well as planning for the year to come. Mostly I’m just so extremely proud of us for coming this far amidst the obstacles, loneliness, and really big spiders/rats/BATS that have invited themselves to live with me in my room.
Of course, a training wouldn’t be complete without something absolutely ridiculous...enter: karaoke. Now, getting around the city is difficult without a car, and taxis are expensive so we don’t often deviate from the normal restaurants and bars. That’s why it’s wonderful to make friends with South African’s who have cars and love to cart around Americans and watch them look like idiots. My friend Andrew had long ago suggested we find a place to karaoke, because well...karaoke!! Luckily, our South African friends knew just the place! Only thing is, karaoke bars aren’t often teeming with talent or business on a Wednesday night. Perfect, you must be thinking. So was I. We enter the bar in an extreme gust of adrenaline and excitement to find...no one. Well, not no one. There was one shady dude in a suit sitting alone at the bar, two larger men singing an Afrikaans love ballad to...the shady guy in the suit sitting at the bar? And finally, maybe 3 or 4 teenagers playing pool who just wanted a night off from studying to relax and have some good conversation. But they got so much more. I want to say there were about 20 of us present, and our song choices ranged from Total Eclipse of the Heart, to something by ABBA, to Bohemian Rhapsody, to a tribute to SA21 with Sweet Caroline, to Frank Sinatra. Intermixed with our passionate and heartfelt musical stylings would be an occasional Afrikaans love ballad that we couldn’t understand but sang along to anyway. We also fashionably demonstrated how to Suki Suki (sp?) which is a wonderful phenomenon in which South Africans ballroom dance to hard rock music...yeah. I want to say that the high point of the night came when my friend and I were singing the Titanic theme song, My Heart Will Go On, and the DJ decided he had heard enough and literally turned off the music and welcomed the next performers on stage in the middle of me harmonizing (read: screaming) “Near, Far, wherEVERRRR you are”. Talk about an ego boost, am I right? As the night progressed, passerbys on the street must have heard the commotion and come in, because by the time we decided it was time to leave, we had quite an audience, and we were all losing our voices. One for the books, this night was.
So...after MST we had a week long all-volunteer conference that was called the Health Symposium. There we about 100 volunteers + their counterparts (both health volunteers and education volunteers) being trained in the responses of the SA government, PEPFAR, and the CDC to HIV/Aids and Orphans and Vulnerable Children in SA, how to teach and facilitate life-skills with youth, organizational development, and permagardening. I attended the permagarden track with a co-worker from my organization, where we learned efficient and environmentally friendly practices for training and operating small gardens. This year we hope to do trainings with various community members and organizations to start or improve on their gardens.