Emotional Creatures

This past weekend I was fortunate enough to get the opportunity to take 10 of the girls in my club as well as 2 teachers to attend a workshop in Johannesburg put on by Eve Ensler (author of the Vagina Monologues). Having heard from another PCV that Eve was going to be in South Africa, I e-mailed her organization as a total longshot to see if she would have any interest to come and speak at my Camp GLOW (which, by the way, is next week! More to come). Obviously, Eve came to SA with other intentions so a lovely woman responded that Eve would not be able to come, but would I be interested in bringing 10 girls to her workshop exploring her newest book, I am an Emotional Creature: The Secret life of Girls Around the World? Heck yes I would! They were able to provide us funding for the transportation, and off we went to Joburg in my host brother’s taxi bright and early Sunday morning. This picture is of Eve interviewing the girls: what do you like about being a girl, what would you do if you could do anything?

The workshop was about half a day, and I really think that the girls enjoyed it. Eve lead the girls in several exercises that encouraged them to open up and start to think of how they could express themselves creatively. There was a lot of running around, a lot of yelling, and a lot of laughter. Being the only group from a rural village, I was nervous about my girls’ willingness to participate with the others (most of the 200 or so girls seemed to be from wealthy suburbs of Joburg), but they proved me wrong. They jumped right in, meeting the other girls, joining their groups, and sitting with them for the remainder of the day. One of my girls (pictured below) even got up to talk in front of the whole group about how inspiring she was finding the activities. If nothing else, it was a great chance for my girls to travel outside of the village and see what other parts of South Africa look like, and what kind of other people are living there too.

After the initial exercises, Eve talked about her career and how it lead her to establishing her organization, V-day. She mentioned her inspiration for the Vagina Monologues which came from a realization that without being able to talk about our bodies, we would never be able to ask the proper questions and get the proper information that would ensure we made healthy decisions and treated ourselves with respect. Though this was decades ago in America, I am noticing the same problems here. As I’ve mentioned before, it is considered disrespectful to talk to your parents about anything have to do with sex. Most of the African languages don’t eve have vocabulary for the reproductive parts; instead they refer to the penis as a stick and the vagina as cake. As a result of this, girls (and boys) are left without any idea of what is happening to their bodies or any real understanding of the consequences of sexual decisions. Sex talks are briefly brushed over in Life Orientation classes at school, so any information you learn is subject to how seriously your teacher wants to take the issues. Because of this, I thought it was really great that these girls could hear her story, and I’m sure even they were shocked the first few times she said the word vagina. After years of performing the Vagina Monologues and subsequently hearing the life stories of scores of women around the world, Eve decided to start an organization called V-day (V stands for Victory, Vagina, and Valentine) that would seek to end violence against girls and women around the world. V-day conducts awareness campaigns, stages events on Valentines Day every year, and raises money to fund local organizations that are working on behalf of girls and women in several countries. V-day has a branch that is dedicated just for girls, which they call V-girls. This is a special place where girls around the world can connect, blog, and help each other to create awareness or action events for people in their communities and farther. Unfortunately none of my girls have access to the internet, but I encouraged them that they would be welcome to use my computer if they wanted to keep in touch with girls they had met that day. What I really admire about Eve, besides the fact that she is an innovator and willing to push the status quo, is that I feel like her career embodies what we are called to do: combining and using our talents and passions to leave the world a better place. She takes her gift of writing and art and is using it to speak to girls and women around the world, helping them to understand and love themselves, and speak/act out against injustices that they are facing. Meeting and hearing from her was truly inspirational.

The second half of the workshop was focused on Eve’s new book, I am an Emotional Creature. This book is a call for girls around the world to love themselves as they are, and to be okay with expressing themselves in whatever way they need: i.e., it’s okay to be emotional. From issues of not being able to afford the latest trends, to eating disorders, to nervous sexual encounters, to atrocities of child labor and rape, the book speaks to everyone. It is a compilation of poems and monologues written from the perspective of teenage girls in several different countries. The book displays the struggles of these girls, and woven into the monologues is the inherent strength, power, and desire to beat the odds that we as girls and women possess. The book ends with a call from Eve, not to be afraid to love yourself for exactly who you are, and not to accept anything less than what will make you truly content and fulfilled. Eve and several of the girls who are performing in the play adapted from this book did readings of the monologues for the girls at the workshop. One was about a young girl who was nervous to ask her boyfriend to wear a condom the first time they have sex, only to find out that he was nervous as well. The second was much more intense, a monologue that outlined the advice of a young girl who was a survivor of sex slavery. I saw that both of the monologues had a profound impact on my girls, as I know that those are both issues that several of them have dealt with.

The workshop concluded, much like the book, with a motivation from Eve to stand up for their rights, and to take ownership over their bodies, present situations, and futures. I believe that the girls took a lot away from the workshop, feeling just a little more empowered to know that they are equal to all of those around them, and that they have the ability to choose their futures. Afterward we were all given copies of the book, which I hope to work through with the girls and maybe this fall actually put on a production of the play at the high school with the help of the 2 teachers that I brought as well. As we were leaving, my host brother drove up to pick us up, blaring, as usual, house (techno) music loud enough for the whole city to hear. Our group started having a small dance party outside the taxi, and we were joined by Eve (picture above)! The girls really loved meeting her and spending the day doing crazy activities to express themselves, and I am so happy that I got the opportunity to bring them there. (Picture to the right, our group with Eve!)

Family

Without a doubt, one of the most salient highlights of my service has been my relationship with my host family. They have been such a blast to learn from, converse with, and spend long days doing nothing alongside.
The first day that I arrived at their home, it was my second week being in Peace Corps and I was scared out of my mind. How often do you just show up at the front door of a family that you know nothing about, can barely communicate with, and expect everything to be chill? From the first day, they have welcomed me into their family, giving me my African name of Sbongile Thubana (Thubana is their surname), showing me how to wash clothes with my hands, pick the ripe mangoes off of the tree in the yard, killing the spiders for me when I'm scared, and sharing soda or snacks when they have extra.

I have been so blessed to have them be a part of my experience here, and I know that one of the hardest things about finishing my service will be leaving them. The members of the family that live at home with me are the Gogo and Mkhulu (Grandma and Grandpa), 3 siblings who are around my age- May, Guphi, and Bena, and 3 small children- Collen who is 5, Mxolisi (the subject of many of my posts) who is 2, and Lisadie who just celebrated her first birthday (picture below). My family is fun, generous, sympathetic, outrageous, and wonderful. I will never forget waking up to the babies pounding on my door, barging into my room and subsequently destroying everything in their path, laughing with Gogo at something inexplicably ridiculous that I'm doing- like tanning in the yard or burning candles during the day-dance parties outside of May's taxi when he arrives home from work blasting his music loud enough for the whole village to hear, eating their food and pretending to like it, then watching them do the exact same thing to me when I cook for them; but most of all, those subtle realizations that I am really part of the family like when my sister decides she isn't going to help me do my laundry anymore, I am asked to help set up and clean up after the birthday parties (instead of being the guest of honor), or Gogo tells me that I no longer have to pay her for my monthly use of electricity.

They've seen me laugh, cry, celebrate successes, and be frustrated over failures; helped me with projects, hung out with me when I was lonely, and left me alone when I didn't want to talk to anyone. I could not have asked for a better family to teach me the culture of ubuntu (a concept of common humanity) characteristic of much of South Africa.

Pantene Beautiful Lengths

So, after years of being involved with UCLA’s Relay for Life and having the job of convincing hundreds of people to cut 10 inches off of their hair to donate to those suffering from cancer and in need of a wig, last night I finally took the plunge and did it myself. Since I was in high school I have wanted to do this, but was apparently too vain or too attached to my luscious locks to actually do it. So I’ve been growing my hair over the past year and last night a good friend of mine cut 10 inches off of my hair so that I could donate it to the Pantene Beautiful Lengths campaign that works with the American Cancer Society to create wigs and gives them for free to those in need. I’m happy that I was finally able to let go of my attachment to my hair and do something with it that could potentially bring much joy or comfort to someone else. So in honor of Father’s Day, I do this in honor of my Grandpa Jack who lost the battle to cancer a few years ago.

If you’ve already skipped below to the pictures, you’ve probably realized that my hair isn’t even that short and therefore I should stop making such a big deal. And I probably should, but for the girl who hasn’t had her hair above her shoulders since elementary school, the short is definitely taking some getting used to.

Kumakhaza (IT IS COLD!)

As you may have gathered from my previous complaint ridden posts, South Africa really only has two temperatures: ‘boiling’ and ‘I can’t feel my toes’. No, these temperatures are not equal to or more extreme than many states in the US or countries around the world, but they are exacerbated by my lack of ability to mitigate the conditions: i.e. air conditioning or central heating. My hut has a thatch roof which is wonderful in the summer because it keeps the majority of the heat out (most people live with tin roofs which effectively turns the house into a convection oven for the majority of the summer), but the massive gaps between the door/windows and the walls allow the brutal air to creep through during winter. I imagine that what I feel after the sun goes down in May/June/July is comparable to that of the long days and nights that Rose and Jack spent waiting for a rescue boat. Temperatures reach below freezing in my area, and only this year did I really take the necessary measures to keep myself feeling as though I was not actually completely submerged in an icy ocean in the middle of the night. Yes, I am being dramatic. Recently I bought a heater, which is pointed directly at my face and approximately 1 foot from it. Last week, I bought an electric blanket which has changed my life and made getting up for work especially difficult. My typical night outfit consists of: long underwear top and bottoms, sweat pants, sweatshirt, two pairs of socks, ugg moccasins, and if things are really getting crazy I will also wear a hat and gloves. Sometimes I turn my oven on and just sit in front of it if the heater isn’t doing it for me. Ironically enough, I actually love the winter here, and have been experimenting with different soups and delicious teas. And as much as I’m complaining now, I absolutely do not want summer to come one day earlier than it absolutely has to. So as you sit on the beach drinking your frappacinno this summer, please make sure to send me some warm vibes and maybe some mental hot chocolate.